Baby Boulevard
by Kiwi's IchiRukiLemoLimesFluffs
Summary: Ichigo and Rukia are blasted with an unexpected pregnancy that leaves the both of them clueless. However, they are forced to adjust to a new but stressfully different journey called parenthood. Ichigo will find out how much more insane Rukia is when pregnant and she will see how much of a pain in the arse Ichigo can be. Hm, wonder what Byakuya would think? —All Fluff—
1. Loading the Gun With…

**Baby Boulevard**

Chapter One - Loading the Gun With Real Bullets

The shimmering Moscato D'asti tickled their lips as they enjoyed a night at _Marlo's Fine Cuisine— A bustling well-known restaurant down the street from their apartment._

Rukia merely giggled before she sat down her glass to go back to her ravishing dinner. Then she dabbed her face with a napkin, staring at the orange haired stud before her. "Thank you very much Ichigo. This was a nice place." she cleared her throat, reassuring him, "You really didn't have to do this." She giggled again out of disbelief.

"See— I kept my word, didn't I?" he sensibly questioned, carefully biting a piece of his tender steamed broccoli off the stem. "Working hard does pay off." The man had been working double hours to take his girl friend on a splendid date. They hadn't be on one in while. Well, ever since they first met. Ichigo was the one who felt obligated to pay for her and her rich brother Byakuya. He was the man Ichigo really wanted to impress since Rukia mentioned how rich he was. Now that they had reached their five year anniversary, this couldn't have been a better time to celebrate with a fine expensive meal at a five star restaurant. Ichigo knew their bill would be at least hundred, yet, he kept his cool. This experience wouldn't be for nothing.

"But you didn't have to do… _all this_." Rukia sighed, "And… Byakuya isn't here…" Even if he was, Rukia wouldn't allow her boyfriend to pay again. No matter how much he insisted.

"So?" Ichigo smiled, "This night is special."

And she agreed on that one for sure. Yet, she just shook her head slowly, "It's just our five year anniversary."

"So?" he protested again. "Just shuddup and eat. You complain too much."

Any other time, Rukia would have reacted to his bleak attitude but tonight, she just frowned and drank the rest of the wine. She needed it to calm her nerves. Quickly, their conversation was interrupted by the waitress as she brought out a piece of red velvet cake and placed it in front of Rukia.

"Uhh what's this?" The midget raised a brow at the sweet delight. " It's our anniversary… not my birthday…"

"I know." Ichigo nodded. "Just try it—"

"It's very good ma'am." The waitress bowed, "And don't forget …to… _chew_…" the woman winked at her then at Ichigo. However, the look she gave Ichigo administered the impression that she was flirting with her man. Rukia careful eyed the woman with a stern violet glare and very swiftly the woman backed down, bowing again. "Enjoy your red velvet, I will be back with the …bill… _later_." she uncomfortably smiled at Rukia.

"Thanks?" Rukia grabbed the fork, feeling the need to shank the lady in the eye but she held her breath impatiently as she watched the young lady saunter off.

"Do you have to be like that?" the orange haired man rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Stop scaring people with your glares. It makes them uncomfortable."

Well she could say the same about him when other men casted their eyes on her. Ichigo's face would turn a ruby red. Especially when males would hold a conversation with her. "Um excuse me." Rukia made an incision in the cake, "She was looking at you all weird. Doesn't she see you're with your girlfriend…"

"So what? She wasn't flirting. She was just reminding you… to… _chew it… carefully_." he expanded those last words, inducing Rukia to raise another curious brow.

"Whatever but she winked at you…" Rukia quietly chomped on the soft cake. "And… I'm not a baby, Ichigo… I know how to—" Suddenly the woman began to choke on her words as something stuck in the back of her throat. "…W-what… the…."

"Oh shit…" Ichigo stood up instantly, watching Rukia turn from ivory to red, "HOLY SHIT!" He leaps over the table, knocking their whole meal down. Rukia is choking profusely, constantly grabbing at her neck, wondering what the hell she swallowed. Unfortunately, whatever it was, it was lodged in the middle of her throat.

"Ichi… go…" The more she sucked in, the more she coughed. This was a stubborn piece of cake that seized to go satisfied until she was dead! She squeezed her throat as other people surrounded her. Ichigo threw his hands around her upper abdomen and pressed against the tense muscles until she lurched forward. So many stray eyes wondering to this intense event. Ichigo quickly pushed again on her tummy as she lurched forward once more.

"Come on Rukia!" Ichigo pushed into her stomach again until the woman coughed up the object lodged in her throat. "Spit it out!"

—_Donk. _

The object dropped into someone's glass.

Rukia stood there trembling as the whole restaurant began to applaud. Here she was trying to compose her current posture into something fairly held together. When her eyes came into focus, she shot daggers at her boyfriend, remembering his last words— _don't forget to chew…_ "WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO? KILL ME?" the midget screamed on the top of her lungs.

"What? No! Of course not!" Ichigo protested.

"YES YOU WERE!"

"THE HELL I WASN'T! I TOLD YOU TO CHEW!"

"CHEW!?" Rukia paced around with hands on her hips, "This is the last time I'll ever eat that crap! I CAN'T BELIEVE—"

"Er excuse me… sir?" The room was quiet as a small man approached the belligerent couple. "Excuse me… I think this is yours…" he trembled as held up something that made Rukia lose all expression. Ichigo bit his lip. This isn't the way he wanted the night to go. Now Rukia thinks he wants to kill her. He thanked his lucky stars that Byakuya wasn't here to see this.

"Thank you…" Ichigo nodded.

"What the heck is… that…" The little woman blinked as Ichigo ignored her question, and got down on one knee. "Oh my god… what are you doing? Get up Ichigo…" _What the hell is he doing! _Rukia couldn't stop staring as her boyfriend proceeded to grab her hand and kiss it.

"A choking fest isn't what I had in mind for tonight, and I'm sure you're going to kill me later for what just happened…" _EVEN AFTER I TOLD HER TO CHEW! _Ichigo cleared his throat.

"Ichigo…" Rukia suddenly became numb. "Ichigo… I—"

"If we can forget about you choking…" the man flushed, shaking his head, "Rukia Kuchiki, will you marry me? You are absolutely the only one for me… I wouldn't want it any other way…" Rukia blinked, her heart was pounding through the palms of her hands.

Everyone ooh-ed and aah-ed, their eyes instantly gluing to the small shuddering woman who couldn't speak no matter how much she tried. "I um…" Rukia glanced at the twenty-four karat gold ring. The same ring that caught her attention in the jewelry store when they were shopping for presents last Christmas. He actually got that ring. Funny that she never told him she wanted it. She wouldn't dare ask him for it. Yet she was sure, Ichigo must have worked triple for that ring and now he presented it in front of her.

How could he waste his money, money that he didn't have. She didn't deserve that. Frozen, Rukia just sighed. She glanced at everyone listening in, anticipating on her answering, hoping that it would be positive. "I can't…" that hurt. "I can't marry you… not right now."

Ichigo frowned, "Of course not now… later." Ichigo tried to joke, "Rukia I just…"

"I can't. I'm sorry…" Quickly she let go of him, grabbing her coat. "Get up Ichigo… I can't do this right now."

"What do you mean you can't?" Just then a part of him died a little as Rukia scurried out of the place. He awkwardly stands up and places money on the table. Suddenly everyone moved back into their conversations, almost forgetting the whole event like it was nothing. "Damn…" how awkward and embarrassing— what had he done wrong?

* * *

Rukia waited by the car, heavily shivering until Ichigo came to unlock the door. His face was full of emotion, although he seemed to hold it all back somehow. He started the car silently, deeply thinking. "I… I'm sorry…" the woman shivered again.

"Why?" Ichigo cooed.

"Because… I know I ruined everything." She even ignored his clues before she dug into the cake. Maybe then, she wouldn't have choked on it.

"Perhaps I took things too fast." Ichigo uttered softly. Truth is, he had been planning this from the first year they had been dating. Surely four years later, was more than enough time for her to make up her mind. He thought…

"It's not you… at all." Clearly it was her. "I didn't expect a proposal." She sunk in her seat, "I was really surprised."

"You weren't supposed expect it." her boyfriend sighed, "…That _was_ the point."

"Well take it back." Rukia murmured, turning up the heater.

Ichigo blinked. "Huh?"

"I want you to take back the ring and get your money back." she explained, "We can use that money for something else. It's not going to be of any use if it's on my finger." she spoke bitterly, successfully avoiding to lock eyes with Ichigo until he retaliated.

An eye twitched. "That's why you didn't say yes?" he asked out of disbelief, "You didn't want to marry me because of how much a paid for the ring? Would you have said yes if it was made of foil…?"

"I would accept that more than a twenty-four karat gold ring… Just as long as you don't have to waste your money on me, Ichigo…"

"Really?… How unbelievable." He parked the car, shaking his head then got out to slam the door behind him. Rukia stumbled out of the car, closing it back and running up stairs. On top of this night going extremely bad, she had a horrid migraine and nausea that she had been trying to get rid of since last week. This morning was the worst for feeling sick but she decided to put all that behind her now.

The first thing she tried to do was be a little sentimental once she hurried inside. However Ichigo loosened his tie and kicked off his shoes, oblivious to the small woman who followed after him. "I'm sorry… I really I am." her voice was small and depressing. Ichigo hadn't let go of his distress, but he supposed he could forget it for now. At least they weren't breaking up. "I'm just not ready to get married yet." the couple sat on the couch in the dim light.

Ichigo had already fetched a beer from the fridge before sitting down, "You would have been ready for a foil ring…" he popped the bottle open and took a few gulps.

Rukia's hands were wrapped around his free arm. "I wouldn't have been ready no matter what the ring looked like." Ichigo stayed silent, trying to relax to his girlfriend's voice but his previous thoughts stopped him. "I'm going to go wash up and go to bed." she added, finally getting up. She took off her coat and jewelry and placed everything on the table.

"…Rukia?"

She turned around, shocked at his sudden actions to kiss her. He abruptly pulled her close, passionately locking lips. Perhaps she needed that. It was the best feeling in the world right now. Why, did she say no to him. Did she honestly mean what she said? She broke the kiss glaring at him with worried eyes, searching a sign everything was going to be okay. "Take all the time you want… Rukia." he sighed, "But I'm not taking the damn ring back… so don't ask."

_Fair enough. _"Fine…" She let out a quick sigh, "You win."

"…Finally." he teased, his eyes moving to his girlfriend's chest. "Is it just me? Or did your chest get bigger?"

"Pretty sure it's just you…" Considering her boobs have _ALWAYS _been micro. Then suddenly, she felt a really weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. Which made her gasp a little bit.

"…Rukia?" His voice sounded a bit concerned. "What's wrong?"

"No… Nothing." she massaged her temples. "I'm just feeling dizzy." Rukia stumbled to the bathroom to run a bath. Something was wrong and yet, what she was feeling was hard to put in words. She felt different somehow and she couldn't tell if it was in a good way or bad way. The thought almost scared her. She decided it was best to undress and get into the tub before she fainted.

* * *

She laid there without moving an inch. Her face was already clammy before it even touched the water. Abruptly sharp pains became her misery at that moment. She wondered what the hell was going on? Maybe she had a fever or something.

"I-Ichigo…" her arms trembled as she pulled herself up. "…Ichigo?" She dreaded getting the thermometer but she brought her screaming muscles upon herself and dragged to the drawer. Her body dripping wet and freezing to her dismay, she swiftly searched with no luck. "Damn it— ICHIGO! WHERE IS THE THERMOMETER?"

"…IN THE CABINET!" her boyfriend's voice rang from the living room.

"Cabinet… cabinet…" Rukia busted open the cabinet above her head and started searching again. "NO! IT'S NOT THERE!" she waited for a response but she got nothing. Then her hand ran over a box, "Found it…" but it was only a pregnancy test. "What good is this gonna do me!" Rukia threw it down angrily.

"THE THERMOMETER IS NOT HERE!"

"…OH." he finally yelled back.

Rukia growled. "For fuck sake." her eyes glanced at the test on the counter top. That would do some good if she wanted to know if she was pregnant. Only, she knew she wasn't pregnant. She and Ichigo hadn't had sex for months now. However it was a possibility… It would answer some questions to how she had been feeling lately and why she missed a few monthlies.

"…Oh what the hell… why not…"

* * *

Ichigo sighed, staring at Rukia's engagement ring on the table. The item was indeed pretty, twenty-four karat gold with three small yellow diamonds and sized perfectly to fit her tiny fingers. It still bothered him that Rukia would refuse it. Such a great opportunity but perhaps Rukia saw something that he failed to see. He wanted this. More than she wanted it seemed.

He might have been mad at the situation, wondering why Rukia would never tell him the real reason why she wouldn't want to settle down yet. He didn't believe it was the cost of the ring or because she wasn't ready. Oddly, he decided to accept it now. He truly respected her wishes because he loved her. Still he awaited for day when she said yes.

Enough dwelling. Despite of all that, what concerned his mind now was heating up the apartment before Rukia got out of the bathroom. Ichigo got up to turn the heater on and decided get the fireplace going. The fire was sure to last before they went to sleep, and if they couldn't get warm, then he'd break out the blankets so they could warm each other.

Ichigo was just about to finish his beer but was distracted by the shaken cold woman standing before him in a towel. "Rukia?" in her hand was a stick. She placed it on the table, violet eyes shocked and bemused beyond explanation. "Are you… okay?"

"I… don't know…" Rukia ran a hand through her black hair. "Just look at this, will you…?"

As Ichigo got closer he noticed it was a pregnancy test. "What the hell? Is this some joke?" but his girlfriend just shook her head.

"I wish." Rukia bit her lip. "Please just look at it." her hands covered her face frantically. "Tell me what you see…"

The man grabbed the stick and blinked. "It has… a plus sign…" he frowned, "I don't know this shit means!"

"Um yea…" the midget crossed her arms, walking closer to the confused man, "Ichigo, plus means positive…" she paused, swallowing the lump in her throat, "I'm pregnant Ichigo…"

"You're joking…"

She tossed the empty box at him. "Read it for yourself. I'm not…"

His face nearly dropped. "And it's mine?"

"You ass! Of course it's yours!" She hissed, "I haven't been with any other man!"

His sigh was a rush of a relief. However, it was short-lived as soon as he realized he was going to be a new… _daddy_?

"…SHIT!"


	2. Conversations

Hey all. This is chapter two (as you see) of my newest story. I think I got banned from Fan fiction cus I couldn't get on. Said something like "Can't log for such and such time, (something like that.) I'm still trying to update Fancy lover, so any that are waiting for that still be patient. Thanks. However, I would like to entertain you with this while you wait. Tell me what you guys think. I hope this gets to be an interesting read for you folks. I haven't seen anything out there of its kind. I wanna go far with this and I need your motivation since I've gotten so lazy. _Eek. _So yeah um, I guess read it and let me know how it goes. _Tootles._

-Kiwi

* * *

Chapter Two - Conversations

"Kurosaki…" Ichigo twitched hearing his last name, "YO…KUROSAKI!"

_Great, now he shows up. _"…Err…" Ichigo was afraid to steal a glance. It's not like he had to. He already knew who it was.

"HEEY!" the nonchalant voice called out louder. Almost as if they were at a concert, rather than a police station.

"What!" The man glared at his annoying partner, sending obvious messages that he didn't want to be bothered. The blonde could have cared less really. Instead, Urahara went on blabbing— more than usual.

"Bonjour! Ciao! Kon'nichiwa! Mi amigo!" Urahara helped himself to a seat on the corner of the desk, grabbing Ichigo's coffee and took swift sip. "Como estas, _señor_ ?"

"….What?" Ichigo blinked.

"Not bad, huh?" the blonde took another sip, "I'm learning Spanish. I just asked how you were…" he watched Ichigo roll his eyes as he turned back to writing incident reports.

"Jama wo shinai de. Kuso baka." Which meant, _don't bother me… Fucking idiot._ Ichigo sighed irritably, writing so hard on the paper, it sounded like loud scratches.

"Now, now partner." the blonde laughed, "What's got you so grumpy eh?"

Instead of answering that, Ichigo frowned turning his attention back on his partner, "You're late today…" _as always_, "…Why?" He evilly hissed at his partner, who just cluelessly shrugged like the scrounger he was. "We had another shooting today and you weren't here… if the crime rate goes up, it's because of your slacking ass…"

"ME?" he seemed partly offended until the rest sunk in, "Shooting?" he blinked, "…Damn… this morning?" the blonde sighed, "Well, what time didn't _you_ get here?"

Ichigo grumbled, turning his computer on, "Six am."

"SIX!? I didn't know this place opened at six."

"I didn't know my girlfriend was pregnant…" The spiky head retaliated with a heavy breath, "…guess there's a lot of things we _don't_ know…"

"Get outta here! Really? Rukia is pregnant?" Urahara shook his head, "Didn't know probing chicks, and settling down were your thing…"

"…It isn't." Ichigo answered with a lie. Yet probing Rukia and actually succeeding was indeed not part of the settling down plan. Still, good thing the idiot didn't know about his proposal to Rukia… along with her rejection. He was still mad about that, and everything in between.

Then his partner went further on the offensive side to say, "Honestly, I didn't know girls were your thing at all."

Ichigo growled at Urahara's submissive attempt to make a queer comment. "Bastard. I'm not gay… if that's what you're trying to say…"

"Heh, well yeah. That's obvious now." The man helped himself to Ichigo's breakfast too, grabbing his heavily glazed donut, then proceeded to ask his next horrid, blunt, yet nosey question. "…So is it yours?"

Ichigo dug into his desk for a more durable pen to withstand his immense aggravation, then paused as that question clung to him. Clearly it was his. His Rukia would never ever cheat on him. Especially after five years of commitment. Yet, he still answered with a confused expression, pausing between the two words, "…I… think…?"

"Damn Ichigo, you could at least know that."

"…"

Then came more questions… "Well, tell me about it? Was she happy?" The blonde gasped, "Oh shit, what about that rich asshole brother of hers… was he happy? Wouldn't doubt it but… still you look pissed…"

"Actually… I was…" Ichigo gritted his teeth, raiding to find the right adjective to describe his questionable behavior. "…erm… surprised…"

"Eh? …Surprised?"

_Oh YES… surprised…_

They were sitting ducks till Ichigo scampered to the phone. That's pretty much how denial and anxiousness found it's way to his mind last night.

* * *

"…Ichigo…_damn it_…" Came an annoyed sigh from Rukia as she laid on the couch, fully clothed and waiting for Ichigo to listen to her. That was _never _going to happen. "Ichigo… please…" the man paced around with a phone tightly in his hand, dialing over and over until he finally got someone on the phone. Finally he stopped by the fireplace, nervous sweat glistened on his forehead.

"Uh yes, can I speak to—"

"Ichigo!" Rukia sat up urgently as her boyfriend's eyes glared irritably at her.

He pulled away from the phone, putting a hand over the speaker so whoever was on the other line, couldn't hear him yelling. "What!"

"Is calling _him really… _necessary?" She moped around him as a sharp pain stabbed her in the belly again. Seriously, was any part of his behavior… _necessary_?

"Yes…" He nodded once, frowning as he went back to the lady on the phone, "Is Isshin Kurosaki there?" he tapped his foot impatiently as Rukia rolled her eyes, "Well it's his son, Ichigo." _AWKWARD PAUSE "…_Y-Yes, I know it's been a long, _long _time… Heh yes, thank you…" he awkwardly laughed, "Mhm, I just needed to talk to him…"

"You _need _to talk to him?" Rukia questioned at the steady beat of Ichigo's shaking foot, "Heh, you don't even _like_ him." Rukia grabbed at her belly to numb the pain, "And it's not like we don't know that I'm pregnant… I just took the damn test." She cooed loudly, "What more proof do ya need?"

Ichigo pulled away from the phone again, his light brown irises flaring annoyingly at his girlfriend, almost like, _WOMAN IF YOU DON'T LET ME TALK FOR JUST ONE MOMENT…_ "I don't listen to you enough as it is…" he admitted, "…And I'm _not_ going to listen to a damn stick with your piss on it—" _SILENCE _"…OH YES, I'm still here —sorry about that…" he walked off, turning back to the conversation, "Okay thanks very much— I'll hold."

"Unbelievable…" If she didn't love him so much, she'd ring his neck. "I give up… what do I know I'm just the girlfriend…" Then she noticed how fast her boyfriend's whole demeanor changed. Yup, he must have gotten a hold of…

"…Hi dad." Ichigo spoke with a confining tone. "Err, nothing much I was just—" he pulled the phone away as his old man began enthusiastically yelling in his ear. "Yes, I know it been a long time…" Ichigo rolled his eyes sighing, "No, I don't hate you…"

"Oh brother…"

"…I'm NOT LYING!" Ichigo grumbled.

Rukia laid back down on the couch, picking up a file and started filing her nails. "Can't say I didn't worn you…"

"Shut up…" Ichigo hissed at her before turning back to Isshin again, "Just hear me out already? I wanted to know if you would give Rukia a checkup sometime this week…" Then suddenly the orange haired man grimaced disgustingly, "NOT THAT KIND OF CHECKUP YOU STUPID IDIOT! I MEAN A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT!"

"Wow…" Rukia giggled.

"Well… we think she's pregnant…" Suddenly Ichigo pulled away from the phone again as Isshin screamed even louder into the phone, "Dad! DAD! …ISSHIN! Listen!"

"Hn… we already _know_ I'm pregnant…" now she knew where Ichigo got his stubborn, dull, bigheadedness from.

"She might be… We don't know for sure…" Ichigo glared at Rukia who dared to not say anything else. "So can we come by this week for a test or not?" there was a brief silence before Ichigo heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks. Then we'll come tomorrow." _SILENCE, _"Shut up…" _Click._ He hung up the phone, shaking his head. "What an idiot…"

"Was he mad or something?" Rukia blinked, bemused.

"Nope. He was happy…" Ichigo shrugged at that thought.

"Then what did he say?" Probably something stupid like always.

Heaving an exhausting sigh, Ichigo opened up another beer and sat down beside her. "Eh, he rambled on about hitting and missing… then said something about loading my _gun _with real bullets without telling you… I didn't get it…"

"Oh…" Rukia held back her laugh, getting up to go to the bedroom. For once Isshin was right. How unfair for Ichigo to just load up without let her prepare herself! She chuckled silently, supposing that's what condoms were for…

* * *

Urahara snickered at the frowning spiky head. "Forget surprised. You overreacted…"

Actually Ichigo thought he was being pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. Overreacting would be hauling Rukia into the car, driving hundred miles an hour to his dad's place and banging on the door at two am, yelling in a frequently high voice so that Isshin and all the neighbors would wake up. That… was _overreacting_. Urahara had no idea. "…She's going for an appointment today. Isshin is going to run some tests. So I'm leaving after I get this junk filed."

"Ah okay." The blonde stood up to put on his badge. "I suppose you could leave me with the shit tons of work…" on the contraire, it was always the Urahara that left Ichigo with all the work while he went off to go sleep. But Ichigo didn't even respond to his blasé comment, instead he went on about his tragedy.

"…As for Byakuya, he doesn't know." the spiky head explained, standing up to greet the man eye to eye, "And Rukia is just as surprised as I was… It all happened so fast. One minute I joke about her boobs getting bigger… then next thing, she's walking to the living room with a stick she pissed on, enlightening me with a joke of her own…"

Urahara patted the dazed man on the back lightly. "Heh, they say denial is the first step to acceptance."

Ichigo blinked twice at his comment. "Seriously…?" So soon he would accept the fact that he was going to be a father? Hopefully that came quick because he was definitely in denial.

"Yeah… at least I thought…" The blonde hesitated, quickly clearing his throat, "No, no… sorry I meant grief. Denial is the first step to grief…" he watched his partner throw his head back in doom.

"Bah, don't worry. I remember when Yoruichi was pregnant." the man chuckled, reminiscing the feelings. He shook his head slowly. "Man… I passed out when she told me. So it could be worse."

"Huh?" Ichigo raised a stern eyebrow at the blonde. "…What's so bad about that…? You only passed out?" Urahara always passed out over shocking news. Big deal?

"No no… for three days." Urahara corrected.

"…"

"Yup!" he smiled, "…laid out cold…"

"…"

The blonde cleared his throat, stuffing another big bite of donut in his mouth, his voice becoming heavily muffled as he did so, "Well anyway, thankfully… it's yours… and you have Isshin to check it out. Like I said, the situation could be worse."

What the…? Of course it could be worse and it _was_ going to be worse. Rukia turned down his proposal. Who knows when she would say yes! Perhaps when they were in their forties! For now, they were together, she was knocked up, and, _AND_, they still had to tell Byakuya. Oh dear, _Byakuya… _

…_Byakuya…_

_Byakuya…_

_Fuck._

_Heh… _Ichigo randomly chuckled, one earthly brown eye glaring at his partner.

"What's funny?"

_Tsk, tsk. "It could be worse… Fuck you Urahara, this is just the beginning…" _Ichigo packed up his gun and gathered his claims in the other hand, shaking his head. "…Humor really isn't your thing."

"It is." Urahara nodded, following the spiky head, "That's if… I can make a mind-numbing square like you laugh."

Ichigo growled, walking off. "Hn…" _Kuso kurae, baka…_

_Fuck off idiot…_

* * *

"Awh Rukia! A MOMMY!" Orihime giggled excitedly as the midget nervously looked the other way shyly. "We need to start preparing! OH we need a baby shower! Oi, can I be the fairy god mother?"

"T-They call it God Mother, d-don't they?" Rukia raised a brow. She placed her hand over her flat belly and rubbed the pain on her sides.

"Fairy sounds so much cooler though…" Orihime giggled. "I always wanted to be a fairy god mother."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Oh… I-I see…"

"OH MY GOD! Do you have a name for it! Is it a boy or a girl?" The woman asked loudly. Rukia wince from the sound of her voice.

"Dunno yet…" Rukia shrugged.

"Geez Rukia… you could at least know that." Orihime shook her head, sighing.

"She won't know until about eighteen weeks, Orihime…" Rangiku murmured with a deep scowl of aggravation, "And besides why worry about that now? … I think the best thing Rukia can do for her child is save up for cute little baby clothes and stuff…"

"Or… save her money for their therapy sessions because we know with Ichigo being the dad, he's gonna fuck them up…" Tatsuki cooed, curling her lip.

Being a mom sunk into Rukia's mind, along with term therapy appointments… "Kill me…" She sunk down in her seat.

"Oh gosh!" Orihime blinked as realization hit everyone in the face, "Ichigo wouldn't be that bad of a dad… would he?"

"Kill me _now_…" Rukia repeated agitatedly.

"Possibly… I've only known him _all_ my life. Very probable." Tatsuki replied sensibly. "I almost feel just as sorry for Rukia as I do the little offspring…" she pointed her thumb at Rukia. Then raised a brow, "Well Rukia? What are you thinking…"

_What was she thinking?_

_Well…_

_-Sigh- _Well for starters, "I just can't believe I'm pregnant." The midget bit her lip nervously as everyone awkwardly stared, "And… I honestly don't know how to feel." It was almost like the weird dreams she used to have. Although she never mentioned before, Rukia had numerous dreams of her having baby. All in which she seemed to be insanely thrilled about. That was perfect contrast to how she was feeling now— which was totally disenchanted and frightened for when she had to tell Byakuya. She didn't get sleep like she wanted to last night. She was too much in thought about her peculiar, creepy dream she was already in. Suddenly it all came to reality.

"Honey, we don't believe it either." Rangiku shook her head, "They say, if you can't picture yourself doing something so farfetched, it makes you shiver when you think about it… then it's best to prepare yourself, there's a great chance that it's coming…"

"Reassuring…" no doubt, Rukia wasn't prepared for this macho.

"How is Ichigo taking this?" Orihime questioned, as her mind already had an image of the man freaking out and going insane. Then she pictured tons of buildings crashing down and burning from the fiery orange spikes wrath.

"He's fine…" Rukia sighed, "He was little shaken up. I think he just needs little space."

"Psh please! You have to carry this thing for nine months— not him!" Tatsuki cooed evilly, "If he wants some space, lock _him _outside!"

"Rukia wouldn't do that. She loves Ichigo…" Orihime giggled, "Their love is inseparable." the woman's eyes sparkled cupid and hearts.

"Love is a mind game…" Tatsuki added, crossing her legs and glanced the other way.

"Amen sister. Mind games are not interesting nor intriguing… they are a waste of my energy and time AND wasting those two things, makes me upset." Rangiku admitted pulling sake out of her monstrous purse. "Which is why my relationship status is complicated."

_Only cause she's in it for the sex. _Rukia rolled her eyes. "And if you didn't hit the sake all the time… maybe you could be happy with…"

"Rukia dear…" Rangiku interrupted, "I've learned… and you will learn this too," she added, pouring the drink in a mug, "Money can't buy happiness… but money can buy sake… and that's pretty damn much the same thing…"

* * *

The door slammed behind the tall man as he dropped his things in the pathway of the cluttered living room. Usually he would call out with a nonchalant, 'I'm home.' but that afternoon, Ichigo screamed, "RUKIA!" then turned red as his jacket when he saw the bags of, what he assumed, were baby hand-me-downs. "RUKIA! WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS?" he screamed louder this time.

"I'm here!" Somewhere in the apartment, his girlfriend's voice drifted back to him. She seemed like she was struggling too, "Just give me a sec…" Wherever she was, she seemed to be swimming through bags too.

"What's the big idea… one pregnancy test and I gotta swim through all these damn baby bags…" he murmured.

"ALL…MOST….THERE!"

"We're gonna be late!" Ichigo kicked a bag into the kitchen, "I know you don't care… BUT I took off work just I could take you to the…"

"Shut up will ya! I'm on my way!" Rukia snapped, stumbling over duffle bags until she got to the living room. "You're so impatient."

"ME?" Ichigo growled, "I told you to be ready when I got here?" This was an argument not worth winning so he quickly switched to something else. "And why does this place look like a tornado hit?"

Rukia grabbed her jacket and swung it over her shoulder. "Well Rangiku, Orihime, and Tatsuki came over." The midget helplessly smiled.

"And you couldn't tell them that our home wasn't a dump?" Ichigo stumbled to the front door where it was safe.

"I planned to have it all cleaned up before you came home." Which didn't work out too well. She finally met him at the door. "They said they were coming to visit. I didn't know that they would be bringing baby clothes…"

"You don't even know if it's a boy or a girl…" Ichigo sighed.

"That's why there are so many bags, see?" The midget smiled again, realizing her boyfriend was still irritated from yesterday. It also didn't help that he still didn't get the gist of what she was saying. "Because… They didn't wanna shut out the possibilities of it being a boy or girl… or twins. Heh, wasn't that nice?"

_No. _Is what he really wanted to say…

"How considerate." he uttered dryly, "I'm bursting with joy." quickly his girlfriend elbowed him, grinning.

"Oh, I knew you would…"

* * *

_Hmm…_

Ichigo eyes remained on the road, "Just don't listen to anything he says. Isshin is the… talkative type and never shuts up to save anyone's life."

"I know that." Rukia rolled her eyes, "Which is why I can't seem to grasp why would want to go see him. You know you haven't spoken to him in years." Honestly, it didn't matter how much he didn't like his dad. he trusted his dad more with news like this than the pregnancy test she took last night. Part of her felt that Ichigo wished for all this to be one big misunderstanding. Perhaps the pregnancy test was old after all, it had been in the cabinet for all this time. Then she thought about the stomach pains and morning sickness she had been having for the past week… and what about her missing her monthlies. She also noticed how tired she was all the time. So something was going on with her right?

Was she _really_ ready for this? She figured later on in life, she would be more than ready but not now. Her mind never dreamed of such endeavors happening at this moment. "Hmmm…." Rukia gazed out the window.

"…What are ya thinking about now?" Ichigo raised a brow, his face slightly annoyed with her mumbling.

"Nothing…" Rukia turned away frowning.

"Whatever…" he grumbled back, pressing the gas harder.

This topic left them in a grumpy mood. Rukia couldn't grasp why. Seriously, did they both have to be dramatic about this? Was being pregnant that big of a deal? "…Ichigo…" her voice was small and quiet but it caught Ichigo's attention very quickly and he turned to look her with a concerned expression.

"What?"

Rukia glanced down twiddling her fingers, her attempt to finding an easier way to ask her random question, "…would… you want a boy or a girl…?" she wondered, though, that was the least of her worries. Ichigo glared back at the road, grimacing at the question.

_Why would she ask that? This is all one big misunderstanding. _"I don't know…" he awkwardly shrugged, "Why?"

"I… dunno." Rukia turned to him, trembling at how he sounded. Like he was angry that he would ask such a question. "I guess… I would want a boy." Rukia admitted shyly.

He sorta figured she would want a girl. Interesting. "…Why?" he asked in a softer tone. "Why do you want a boy?"

* * *

_Ended in a odd place. Lol. Let me know what you guys think! : D_


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